Real Women Don’t Have Help {And Other Lies…}

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There have been a spate of great articles lately on the blogosphere talking about moms and women everywhere who use one simple asset to achieve excellent in their daily lives.

That asset?


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The Happiest Mom first took on the myth of doing it all and reminded us all of a simple fact that we’ve forgotten in the decades since we last read Little Women. The March family had help. Yup. Like many of our ancestors in the USA (or modern peers overseas) help was a normal, attainable part of daily life.

From cooking to cleaning to child scrubbing to gardening, the help could do lots. And they still could — if only we let them.

In Never Mention the Housekeeper, we’re once again reminded that our biases as super women who “shouldn’t need” help are what are holding us back. Finally, no great discussion is complete without the indomitable Tsh Oxenrider (aka Simple Mom) weighing in.

Today, I encourage you all to find that place in your heart (or your head) where you’ve sworn off help and to turn that notion on its head. Help — even a few hours a week paying a mother’s helper a nominal fee — can make you a better wife, mother, and woman.

Do you have help? Does it help you to soar?


  1. Great topic! I had a very wise, very sweet woman in my church that modeled for me how to be good to yourself. She always hired a neighborhood kid for a few hours a week. Sometimes she’d go to Starbucks and just have an hour to write letters and be alone. Sometimes she’d have the kid match socks – a job she hated. She paid a fair wage, but nothing that broke the bank but it was worth a whole lot more in terms of happiness!

  2. I loved the March Girls, thanks so much for reminding us that even those of modest means had help. We could all use a little help.

  3. Sherry says:

    Everyone needs help! I agree that having help makes us better wives,mothers and friends! I just wish I had more (any) help! LOL. I go on strike and play on the computer or read a book for 3 days! And this place gets torn upside down!!! If I could I’d pay neighborhood teen to help! But I have to say when my lil brother comes into town he helps me with BIG projects and does the dishes!!! I raised him WELL!!! LOL I just hope my son learns those same quality’s!!!

  4. sarah says:

    interesting thoughts! we dont have the financial means to hire help, but my mom recently moved in with us. this was a major move (ohio to california!) and the move came for a number of reasons, some that benefit her and some that benefit us. but definitely one of the biggest benefits is having help with housework and with the kids!!

    its been a huge blessing and has helped me see why this kind of thing is normal in many cultures around the world (though it has raised some eyebrows here in the US).

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